No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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