So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
