two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Blood and glitter go together right?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
