The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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