You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
3 2 1 whiskey
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
