the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
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