I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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