do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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