still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
