I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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