This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
