bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They took my balls.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
