i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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