I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
