Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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