Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
