TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
me + whiskey = a bad person
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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