i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i can't believe i had my finger in that
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
is that a dick in a sweater?
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