No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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