I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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