You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.