k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
