i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
