I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
