I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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