she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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