The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
