Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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