So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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