Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
