no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
