Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
