Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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