I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You pole danced in your parka.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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