Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
