Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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