Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
