So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Randomize
