U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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