I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
