Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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