I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
