i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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