God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
