Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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