so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
