By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
we're so committed to being not committed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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