Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
