Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize