i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We are two peas in an std pod
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
