where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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