Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
