After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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