theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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