Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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