gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
