Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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