i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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