Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
