just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
