did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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