"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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