margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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