I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
