I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
