my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
