The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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