come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
